Day 29: Up .2/-24.6 total/ Counting hours instead of days now

It's forty hours until the stroke of midnight tomorrow evening, my final day of this 30 day juice fast.  But, I won't be waiting breathlessly for the clock to strike while holding a family-sized bucket of KFC.  Instead, I will be in a hotel bed, fast asleep.

What do I plan to eat for my very first solid meal the following morning?  Fresh fruit salad like I did on my last fast. 

 I will be on the road tomorrow for a couple of days, doing my gig as a comedian at a holiday party for construction workers. The event is being held in a conference room in one of my favorite casinos, with one of my favorite buffets. (Translation:  any casino/any buffet.)  

But it's work and amazingly I have rules.  I don't gamble where I perform.  I also make it a rule not to eat at any venue where someone from the audience could see me beforehand.  Entertainers talk about keeping up a "Wall" between you and the audience until the show is over.  For me,  it is more than that.  It's all the shame I've felt as a fat girl when eating in public.  I've felt shame if ate normally, as well.  And as a teen, I was too embarrassed to order a salad. I worried that if I did, the waitress would figure out that I was fat.  And when I would finally say screw it all and ordered whatever I wanted, eventually I'd drown in a tidal wave of guilt.

I think all that shame and guilt spurred on my compulsive eating.  Today I found an old diary from 28 years ago.  As always, I was bemoaning my weight on paper, trying another new diet and vowing to exercise it off.  What is interesting to me is that what I weighed then is my goal weight now.  

But looking back is easy.  Planning for today and tomorrow takes work.  Not only do I want to lose the extra weight, but I want to lose the shame attached to both being obese and having once been obese.  Some of the most fantastic and beautiful people I have known and idolized were extra-large.  And some of meanest were downright skinny.  

What really counts for all of us is what is on the inside.  I am working on improving that as well, although an hour of aerobics is a hell of a lot easier.

Day 29:  Juicing like a timekeeper/Up .2/ -24.6 total

Quote for the day:  "It's never to late to live happily ever after." Unknown.

Pat Dennis
Corporate comedian and author:
Hotdish To Die For
Hotdish Haiku
Stand-Up and Die
Anne Frasier's Deadly Treats 

and more

Day 28: down .2/-24.8 total/ 2 more days!

I use to belong to a weight support group where we announced our loss or gain after a weigh-in.  If you stayed the same, the group would respond in unison, "At least it wasn't a gain."

Being on this juice fast, I have to remind myself the same thing when I have a tiny loss.  Losing weight on a JF, watching the pounds melt away quickly makes you spoiled.  I remember on my 60 day juice fast that I lost two pounds over night.  It was early on in the fast and I didn't realize the weight loss would slow down.  I quickly calculated that, if I did the same every day for the rest of my fast, I'd lose 116 pounds in 58 days.  I was actually disappointed the next day when I lost only 1.5 pounds.

Disappointed at 1.5 pounds in one day?  If I did that in a week on a regular diet, I'd be thrilled.

My original 60 day fast ended up in a 40.5 weight loss.  Know what?  If I did that in a year on any other diet, I'd be excited.  Was I disappointed that I didn't lose 116 pounds in 60 days?  Of course not.  In fact, I had forgotten about my misguided and over-the-top expectations until today.

For me, I've found the best way for me to lose weight, or do anything, is to start out being grateful and stay that way.  I originally had 100 pounds to lose when I started fasting, but  I was thankful I wasn't facing 101 or  even 401 pounds to lose. Why I never moved into the super-obese neighborhood is beyond my comprehension. I certainly tried.

My arms and legs may be chubby, but I have all of them and they work well.  I have a heart condition, but it is mild. And even at my age, my eyes must be perfect.  They can see a piece of  Toblerone within a one-mile radius.

Day 28:  Living on juice/Down.4/Total loss 24.8/

Quote for the day:  "When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around." Willie Nelson

Pat Dennis
Corporate comedian and author:
Hotdish To Die For
Hotdish Haiku
Stand-Up and Die
Anne Frasier's Deadly Treats 

and more

Day 27: Down 1.2/ 24.6 Total loss/Don't Go In The Basement!

If you do, you'll probably see me.  Ever have one of those days when you want to avoid the world?  It's one of those days for me.  A hermit lifestyle always has always tempted me.  In my fantasy, I'd live in the woods, weave my own cloth, grow my own food, and have 'No Trespassing Signs' posted every three feet.  But, all of my plants die a quick death. If I did manage to make material from whatever, I would't know what to do with it. I can't even sew. My husband takes his shirts to the Sew What shop to have a button sewn on.  I've never, ever spent a night alone in the country because I would be terrified.  I can't even stay in a Marriott Hotel without shaking in my watched-too-many Oprah shows Ugh boots.

It's just that the thought of being a herman calms me.  It's sort of like a meditation.  My mantra is that when it all gets too hard, I could get away from it all, forever.  In three days, I will be able to get away from juice fasting for a while.  That thought calms me when I get a bit too anxious about not having solid foods.  But being on a juice fast is amazingly calming.  Maybe it's because all those chemicals, preservatives, food coloring are not racing through my body.

Or maybe it's because taking care of myself gives me a little peace.

Day 25:  Living on juice/Down 1.2/Total loss 24. 6/

Quote for the day:  "Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I  rebuilt my life." J.K. Rowling 

Pat Dennis
Corporate comedian and author:
Hotdish To Die For
Hotdish Haiku
Who Died In Here?
Stand-Up and Die
Anne Frasier's Deadly Treats 

The Silence of the Loons

Resort To Murder

Once Upon a Crime Anthology and more

Day 26: Down - 2.4/Total Loss -23.4/ 4 DAYS LEFT TO JUICE!

Actually, it's four and half.  Like before, I am going to enjoy not being on a fast.  I like food a lot.  I also like socializing with my friends.  I love cooking and cruising the web for recipes. Some of them I will even try to replicate.  I adore cooking shows.  And I managed to do every single thing I love while juicing.  The only thing I didn't do was eat. 


But, there is a lot I like about being on a juice fast.  I've learned to love the taste of the juice.  The once time a week or so, when I actually put something in my juice (a dash of Louisiana Hot Sauce) you'd think I was diving face first into a whipped cream cake.  I like being in control and not having to worry about what I will be eating for the day.  I won't be eating.  I like the weight loss. And, I love the energy that comes from fasting.  But most importantly, I love the results.


I am a betting woman. I visit Vegas annually, go to local casinos and have been to the track a few times.  If a Vegas bookmaker would have given me a chance to bet on me when I started my first 60 days juice fast, I'd be rich right now.  I would have placed $100 for 100 to 1 odds against me.  Most of my friends would have as well.


But, for some reason, a juice fast  connects with my body and spirit.  It is the easiest weight loss I have ever achieved.  Am I worried about once I get off the fast?  You bet I am.  But this time, I'd place a wager on me to win.


Day 26:  Living on juice/Down .8/Total loss 23. 4/


Quote for the day:  "Nothing is impossible.  The word itself says, I'm possible!" Audrey Hepburn

Pat Dennis
Corporate comedian and author:
Hotdish To Die For
Hotdish Haiku
Who Died In Here?
Stand-Up and Die
Anne Frasier's Deadly Treats 

The Silence of the Loons

Resort To Murder

Once Upon a Crime Anthology and more

Day 25: Down - 2.4/Total Loss -22.6/ Off The Rollercoaster

Or at least it feels that way. 2.4 pounds is a heck of a lot of weight to lose in a single day.  It well makes up for the last two days, where I gained.  What I have learned with this plan is to stick with it and eventually it will be okay.


My husband asked me today if the sweater I was wearing was new.  Nope, I told him, it's ten year old.  It's one of the many items I purchased thinking ,"It is so cute. I'll just lose enough weight to eventually  fit into it."  I literally have an entire closet filled with 'eventual' clothes.  It's been fun to finally fit into a few of them.  I feel like I must have been psychic when I predicted correctly I would be wearing them some day.  


I just didn't know it would take me decades to do so.  And in case you're wondering – yes, some of them are floral dresses with shoulder pads wider than a Green Bay Packer's.  It's the look that any Sugarbaker would have been proud to carry off.


(Gosh, I miss Designing Women.  They should bring the show back and call it Designing Seniors.)

Day 24:  Living on juice/Down 2.4/Total loss 22.6

Quote for the day:  ""Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain." Anonymous

Pat Dennis
Corporate comedian and author:
Hotdish To Die For
Hotdish Haiku
Who Died In Here?
Stand-Up and Die
Anne Frasier's Deadly Treats 

The Silence of the Loons

Resort To Murder

Once Upon a Crime Anthology and more

Day 24: + .6/Total Loss -20.2/ Oh well.

My weight has gone up, then down and then up again in the last three days.  If you're new to a juice fast, this happens.  I just have to hang in there.  It's only seven days until I eat solid food again.

I remember my last fast when I did sixty days. I didn't know what would happen when I bit into solid food for the first time. I suppose I was expecting heralding trumpets to begin as soon as I tasted the scrambled eggs. I assumed I would swoon in ecstasy as  if Daniel Craig was sitting across my me, wearing nothing but a..wait, a minute. I will leave it at wearing nothing.

But instead?  Absolutely nothing happened, except I was chewing instead of eating.  I didn't jump up and down in excitement.  I didn't call all of my friends and scream, "My mouth is so full and happy!"  I actually kind of lost interest in the dish very quickly.

That really shocked me.  Maybe my body was reminding me food is just food.  It's me who attaches any emotion to it.  And like anything, some emotions are good.  But, some emotions are very destructive.  Frankly, if I could choose,  I'd rather it be a  roller coaster concerning my weight loss, rather than a much scarier ride of emotions.

Day 23:  Living on juice/Up .6/total loss 20.2

Quote for the day:  "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." Eleanor Roosevelt.

Pat Dennis
Corporate comedian and author:
Hotdish To Die For
Hotdish Haiku
Who Died In Here?
Stand-Up and Die
Anne Frasier's Deadly Treats 

The Silence of the Loons

Resort To Murder

Once Upon a Crime Anthology and more

Day 23 .8 pds lost/20.8 total/ Can't fit into an outfit properly!

And this time it is because it is way, way too big.  My trusty black velvet performance ensemble that has seen me through multiple sizes is no longer wearable.  I have lost enough weight that the once tight elastic waistband now droops down on my hips.  If I thought there was a chance I would become a rapper, I'd keep them.  But, as far as I know, there is no interest in hip hop artists who show their grannie panties.

I needed this boost today, as I do every day.  The monotony of my diet is mind-numbing at times.  And there is always temptation lurking around every corner.  Everywhere I look these days, there seems to be food.  Even at the library, someone next to me was quietly munching on a Snickers bar.  If my addiction were alcohol, I'd avoid bars until I could handle being in one.  Facing my addiction to food means confronting the issue everywhere.  There is no escape.  So basically, even morning when I wake up, I  put on my imaginary suit of armor and  'woman-up' to face the world.

After I finish this 30 day fast, I will own up to how much more I would like to lose, and how much I lost on both juice fasts.  I feel bad that I haven't posted before and midway after pictures, but I am waiting until the end.  When I fasted the first time, I found many YouTube videos of folks who followed Joe and Phil's example and were doing a 60 day fast. They uploaded daily, and I watched them every single day.  For a change, I really believed them when they inevitably said, "If I can do this, anybody can this."

And believe me when I say this :  If I can do this fast two times, much less doing it once, anyone can do it.  In fact, anyone can do almost anything.

Day 22: still juicing/ .8 pds lost today/ 20.8 pds total

Quote for the day:  "All our dreams come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." Walt Disney.

Pat Dennis
Corporate entertainer and author:
Hotdish To Die For
Hotdish Haiku
Who Died In Here?
Stand-Up and Die
Anne Frasier's Deadly Treats 

The Silence of the Loons

Resort To Murder

Once Upon a Crime Anthology and more